Relationships

Relationships


Nurture your relationships with friends and family!

‘The secret to finding the deeper level in the other is finding the deeper level in yourself. Without finding it in yourself you cannot see it in the other’. (Eckhart Tolle)


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Insights

Understanding Others

Once you raise your level of consciousness, your increased awareness of yourself and your developed empathy will help you better understand other people.

Their actions will make more sense.

It was not until I raised my consciousness through yoga and meditation, that I started to understand my husband better, after sixteen years of marriage.  

I realised that my husband had been an evolved spiritual being all along and existed on a different level of consciousness.

 Prior to my own transformation, I did not understand this about him.

As I progressed on my journey of self-discovery and transformation and started to understand the reasons behind some of his habits that used to annoy me, those habits began to fall away.

Marriage suddenly became much more harmonious and peaceful.

Be Fully Engaged

Take the time to connect and be fully engaged when speaking with friends and family.

When I worked in the corporate world, because of the pressure of numerous tasks on my plate, combined with the fact that I always wanted to go the extra mile with everything, I was not fully present in the moment as a mother, daughter, sister or wife.

 My lights were on, but I wasn’t really fully present when I was at home or even when I was talking to family on the phone. 

My mind was pre-occupied with upcoming tasks .

I thought I was in control, but actually I had no control. I was unable to switch off and be fully present.

Tools like yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, practising mindfulness, and making more time to be my true self helped to create more connected and engaged relationships with family and friends.

Expectations

Drop any expectations you have of people.

Accept them for who they are.

Learn to see through what your mind has been programmed to believe - for example, what love should be like, or what a husband or wife or child should be doing in particular circumstances.

Once you drop these expectations, you become freer, lighter and more at peace.

When I was growing up, my expectations on how a marriage should be were defined by my parent’s marriage, TV programmes, and movies I watched.

I always believed that my expectations were the correct way of doing things and that anything contrary to what I expected was not the right way.

However, slowly, I realised that it was my expectations that were causing me unhappiness.

As soon as I dropped the expectations, started to go with the flow, and was less impacted emotionally by the actions of others, the most beautiful things started to happen.

For example, all the things I wanted my husband to do but he never got around to doing started happening automatically!

My kids started to behave the way I wanted them to, without any nagging from me!

Balance

Learn to balance your needs and desires with your family’s desires.

Everyone born on this Earth is entitled to be happy by fulfilling their heart’s desires and dreams. 

Accept that people have their own journeys and lessons to learn in life.

The key is learning how to balance things so that your loved ones are not suffering.

It is not enough to justify an imbalance on the grounds that you are making money.

While I was in the corporate world, I used to spend a lot of time in the office.

I knew deep down that I should be spending more quality connected time with my family.

However, my mind’s justification was that I was the main breadwinner and needed to put in the work to allow the family to live in a nice community.

However, in time and after I left my job, I realised:

 What is the point of spending so much time in the office when your loved ones are suffering, feeling lonely, and wanting a deeper connection with you?

What is the point when you don’t know the strengths, weaknesses and interests of your own children?

What is the point when you are not there when your child needs you to be there, when they are going through issues at school? When they need you to help them make sense of their own experiences in the world?

I realised that it was not worth the extra cash in the bank. 

At that point, I made the decision that I would not go back to a job that compromised on that precious time when the kids come home from school.

Balance your dreams and desires with your family’s dreams and desires. 

Only then will you find true happiness.

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